They used to have dinner together: mother, children, father. The father was always the last to come home. But once he was there, they would cook dinner and eat. Together.
Then one day, one of the children – a teenager – decided to become vegetarian. It would not affect their daily routine. Just like before, they would prepare dinner together and eat. Together and at the dining table. However, not everyone would eat everything that was there.
Her decision to become vegan was a bigger step. They would still have dinner together but it wasn’t as easy any more as it had been before. At first, the parents still tried to cook so that everyone was satisfied, new recipes were added, but at some point, the girl asked for her own shelf in the kitchen, with her own food, and started to cook for herself.
It was only a matter of time that the girl started eating the food she had prepared by herself whenever she felt like eating and no longer when everyone else had dinner. Hence, more and more often her chair at the dining table remained empty.
She was always skinny. Now she is too skinny. Sometimes, she does not get up for days. She stays in bed, staring at the wall. Then again, if only for a moment, things will be like before. Afterwards it is worse. For everyone. A roller coaster.
I stand (idly) by. I have known them for a long time and can tell how miserable they are. The parents, the siblings, the girl. Over and again, I keep asking myself what could have been done to prevent things from turning out the way they did. What would be a solution? What is between being ignorant and being importunate? Is it enough to just be there?
I thought of this when knitting – stitch by stitch, one braid after another – a wrap for the girl. She wants me to knit for her. However, she never said that. A wrap in grey, the color she likes best.
Fallen Cloud. Soft and warm like a hug.